Asking the RIGHT Question

If you go to see a therapist or psychologist, what will be the first question he/she will ask?

“What is wrong with you?”


Or if you and your spouse go to see a couple’s counselor, what would you guess to be the first question he/she would ask?

“What is wrong with your relationship?”

Am I having the second right? Right?

Or if you invite consultants to your company (like scenes in House of Lies), what would you suggest to be their ice-breaking question?

“What is your organization’s weaknesses? What do we need to fix?”

Another deja vu?

Those questions above are important questions. You need to know what is wrong so that you can fix them to make them right.

But what if we tweak those questions a little bit. Instead of asking “what is wrong?”, we ask “what is right?”.

“What are the things that going so well in your life?”


“What is going well in your relationship?”


“What are your strengths? Tell me about success stories that we can build on.”

Questions are powerful tools. They can ignite hope and lead to new insights. They can also destroy hope and keep us stuck in bad assumptions.

Whatever the question, the answers reinforce the assumption.

If you ask the WRONG questions, you’ll provide an excuse for why you are not getting the results you want.

If you ask the RIGHT questions, they empower and create new possibilities, they lead to action and they will produce results.

Because it is easier to think “outside the box” and approach problems with a fresh perspective.

Posted on October 17, 2012, in Positive Thinking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Great post. I think the ‘what’s wrong’ question is the one I dislike most and avoid asking. I remember our old family doctor so fondly. He never asked – what’s wrong, he always asked – what’s missing. Thank you heaps for dropping in on my blog 🙂

    • True that. Asking what’s missing drives us to complete our own puzzle, isn’t it? Love your blog. As ‘biologist by education’ I could really relate. Thank you for dropping here too! 😀

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